How To Be Dumb tab - elvis costello

from: Christian Korbanka, Cologne, Germany
e-mail: Christian_Korbanka@msn.com
lyrics and chords of: How To Be Dumb by Elvis Costello 

Suggestions and corrections are always welcome!
date: 95/10/15



G
I was hell-bent on destroying my powers of concentration
  D
While you were living like a saint
G
And all the time the very one you trusted
      Em                         Bm
Was washing off somebody else's paint

G
Now you've got yourself a brand new occupation
  D
Every fleeting thought is a pearl
        G
And beautiful people stampede through the doorway of
      Em                    Bm
The funniest fucker of the world

F
They're here to help you
Dm             Bm
Satisfy your desire
                       C                           G
There's a bright future for all you professional liars

              C         D
Now you know how to be dumb
          G                  C
Are you ready to take your place in
     G/B          D
The modern museum of mistakes?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
          G                  C
Like a building thrown up overnight
   G/B             D
In one of those reverse earthquakes

G
They emptied out all the asylums,
D
They emptied out all the goals
G
The "New Bruise" was the name of the dance craze
     Em                        Bm
By "Jesus Cross and the Cruel Nails"
G
Followed up by "Tortouzring Little Beaver"
 D
With their contraption of barbed wire
G
Between the fear and the fever lies
Em                        Bm
All the  rejection they require

F
They'll be howling by midnight,
Dm                      Bm
They'll be drooling by dawn
                                          C
Skulls shrunk down to the size of their brains
                   G
Heads shaven and shorn

              C         D
Now you know how to be dumb
          G                  C
Are you ready to take your place in
     G/B          D
The modern museum of mistakes?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
          G                  C
Like a building thrown up overnight
   G/B             D
In one of those reverse earthquakes

  Em
Trapped in the house of the Perpetual Sucker
          C                       D
Where bitterness always ends so pityful
Em
You always had to dress up your envy in
 C                       D
Some half-remembered philosophy

 G
Now you're masquerading as pale powdered genius
       D
Whose every bad intention has been purged
G
You could've walked out any time you wanted
     Em                           Bm
But face it you didn't have the courage
G
I guess that makes you a full time hypocrite
    D
Or some kind of twisted dilletante
  G
Funny though people don't usually get so ugly
           Em                        Bm
'Til they think they know what they want

F
Scratch you own head stupid
Dm
Count up to three
Bm                 C
Roll over on your back
             G
Repeat after me

                C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb
          G                  C
Are you ready to take your place in
     G/B          D
The modern museum of mistakes?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
          G                  C
Like a building thrown up overnight
   G/B             D
In one of those reverse earthquakes

G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
G               C         D
Don't you know how to be dumb?
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Video How To Be Dumb

I'll never fall in love again - Elvis Costello (cover)
Hi everyone. I've been through a tough time lately, and I almost forgot how to play guitar. Luckly, I found the time to learn how to play this simple song from Costello. So here's my reinterpretation of it. Hope you like it. Btw, sorry for the dumb face, I was trying not to laugh but with poor results. Enjoy

Elvis Costello Merlefest 2007 Complicated Shadows
Elvis Costello Merlefest 2007 Complicated Shadows

Lover's Dilemma by The Dumb Easies
The Dumb Easies covering "Lover's Dilemma" by The Revelons at Grumpy Dave's Pub in Bowling Green, OH on 01/02/09.

SHUGO CHARA HELL
Watch it!! xD "Just goes to show- hyper, bored, caffinated otaku's do great things!! lolz awesome job XP!!!!" -volleyrocker1 I became attached to this comment 8D "Boredom, maybe the greatest disease in human history! Resulting in AMV Hell, the light-bulb, Benjamin Franklin getting shocked by lightning, and so on and so forth :D. Great job!" -Kiento Woohooo xDD "LOL!!!!!!UR ONE HELL OF A DUDE!!!!!U MADE ME CRY 2 TEARS!!!!XD OMG!!!THE BEST FAN MADE VID (that hes made me laugh)EVER!!!!U KNOW IR THERE WERE MORE STARS TO RATE THIS IT WOULD BE THE HIGHEST(the non-ending type)!!!!U KNOW IM JUST GONNA WATCH IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER....RIGHT NOW!!!!!U R0CK XD!!!" -Gabssaint This made me laugh xDD Well, Ive always wanted to make one of these crazy AMV Hell Style vids xD And since I always seem to think up of parodies for Shugo Chara I though why not =D And went and made it xD This has been in the works for two months O.O The vid would have been longer but Sony vegas froze every five mins so it was impossible to make anymore =P (Dumb vegas =.=) Alot of these parodies I have to hand to my bro's ideas ^^ Thnx big bro!! :D But alot of them are just what I think of the characters, e.g. Tadese = girl xD Im not sure how funny this is but hopefully it will make your giggle =D Well please rate, comment and ENJOY!! (And hopefully laugh xD) Anime: Shugo Chara Audios: (The credits have mistakes btw! So read this instead xD) Blink 182 - All The Small Things Maximum The Hormone - What's Up People?! Blackadder II - Colossal Pervert Bon Jovi - Living On A Prayer The Killers - Somebody Told Me Wizard of Oz - Muchcin Land Song Liam Lynch - Happy Song Death Note - Kira Laugh Shrek 2 - Puss In Boots Elvis Costello - Is She Really Going Out With Him? Sugababes - Freak Like Me Blackadder II - Lord Flashart Song Mindless Self Indulgence - Shut Me Up Sailor Moon Theme - Moonlight Densetsu Program: Sony Vegas Pro 8.0 DISCLAMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE MATERIAL WHICH HAS BEEN USED. THIS VIDEO IS PURELY FAN MADE AND THERE WAS NO PROFIT (MONEY) IN MAKING IT AND THERE NEVER WILL BE. ALL COPYRIGHT GOES TO THE ORIGINAL OWNERS.

Steal Away (Character Description)
There's gonna be another vid like this.. But the other two girls..Here's the McGregor Sisters descriptions ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Torey Blaire McGregor Age: 16 years old. Hair: Light brown; however there is a fair amount of red that is noticeable. Her hair is naturally curly, but she usually keeps it as straight as possible. It falls to around her shoulders, and normally covers her ears however there are moments of rarity that allow one to see them. She has some of the usual "punk" bangs, short and messy, usually being pushed to the side over her left eye. Eyes: A shade of shocking green. Some of her classmates from school tease her, saying they're almost like "Harry Potter Eyes." With a dark ring of lashes around her eyes, it's quite reasonable to say her eyes are quite captivating. Her family and friends who have known her since as long as she can remember all say to her that her eyes are exactly like her fathers. Simply a brilliant, captivating, hypnotic shade of emerald green. Personality: A bubbly, energetic girl, Torey is one to try things not many would. Suggest sky diving, and chances are she will go for it. Deep sea diving? Sure, why not. She is known as the class clown in her school, but she is very respectful. Her fantastic grades are normally hidden from her friends, as she plays quite heavily on the "Dumb Blonde" label she was given due to her clever comedic timing, and quick witty remarks. It's extremely rare to find her in a bad mood, as she is over exuberant at points, but when she is, it's always to the extreme. She only trusts very few people to see her cry, those few being her sister, her best friends (Although her best friends it is widely known to be only girls themselves), and a boy whom she considers special enough to get his own ring tone on her cell phone, however much she denies it. Style: Her comedic stylings do seep into her clothing, which adds random bursts of bright colours into a pallet of mostly blues, greys, whites and blacks. Often sporting bright red Converse All Star Chuck Taylor's, as well as old rock band tees such as the Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Black Sabbath, and Elvis Presley, it's easy to see how much this girl survives on Rock Music, or rather Punk bands. With her fantastically bright skinny jeans, her black painted nails, her studded belts it's almost a never to see her feminine side, but when it does come out, the boys are some to stare. Fave Music: Punk, or Rock. Bands like Flogging Molly, The View, Dirty Epics, and McFly, ranging to Elvis Costello, The Beatles, The Ramones, The Monkies, and Black Sabbath, all the way to even bands such as the Jonas Brothers, Busted and even Hanson. Jeanelle Kameron McGregor Age: 21 years old Hair: A consistent brown, however her hair appears to have a red tint to it under certain light. Like her sister, her hair is naturally curly, but unlike her sister she doesn't straighten it, she merely ties it up in a pony tail. Even in a pony tail, her hair falls further down her back than her sister's, down to around her shoulder blades. Her bangs are the long ones that are parted in the middle and go to her cheek bones, but they are never covering her eyes. Eyes: Unlike her sister's eyes, which are a fantastic shade of green, her eyes are a dark shade of chocolate brown. Some could say at points her eyes do show a touch of green to them, but only at extremely rare moments. Personality: Though not as energetic as her sister, Jeanelle is still one to go out and enjoy herself, as long as she knows what she's getting into. She is one to focus on her studies more than others, but once she decides to have fun, there's no stopping her. Definitely the girly girl of her group of friends, Jeanelle is usually in an upbeat mood, however if something calls for it, she will pull out her inner Witch with a capital "B". Although Jeanelle can be mean, she is more so known in both her hometown and her university as a sweetheart, always ready to give her hand to someone in need. Accepting and caring, Jeanelle tends to play the councillor to her circle of friends, always being the big sister of the group. Style: As she is the councillor of her group, Jeanelle tends dress in causal styles, while still being girly and sweet. Her closet mainly filled with soft pinks and purples and blue, she does have some darker colours, however it's only on a few pieces. When she wants to dress up, she has enough dresses to choose from, as well as high heels, but this girl prefers to been seen in basic jeans, tee shirts and a sweater. Fave Music: Being the girly girl Jeanelle is, she is usually listening to Pop music. From Groups such as Girls Aloud, Sugababes, all the way to singers like Cascada, Mika and Lily Allen, this big sister looks and sounds the part of a Pop music lover. [[Read, Sub, Comment Share?? Thanks a TON everybody!! Keep posted here, cause I'll be uploading more later on!! Cheers, =D]]